Few years ago, I met a lady via social media.
From the start, she offered intelligence. Her brilliance is a great turn on. Her thought line stands out. We would talk and talk on topics, from religion to education to morality and so on.
This girl is so beautiful! I mean it.
But you know what, the least and last thing I would think towards her is, ‘sex’. Great sex just seems like least thing she could offer and for me to fantasize. It is like asking the President to give you a car when you both talk like presidents.
I do not see myself leaving her in the next decades, if God pleases. I see myself running to her for advise and for critiques. She is a friend.
Now, I imagine: suppose we are courting, it will be impossible to leave such a strong woman! I would just be stupid! Something must just be wrong with me!
Who would leave such a woman?
Who would use and dump such an asset?
People keep assets!
I see a lot of “she is a gold-digger*, and I am like, ‘hey brother, you only offered her money’.
I see a lot of ” he used and dumped me*, and I am like, “you probably only offered him sex’, got his attention but not his retention.
Everyday, we model ourselves; whether by sagging the jean and flickering car keys or by chewing gum loudly and hanging around all cinemas.
We simply attract our kind.
Some would have sent you friend request here just because of your comment on a post. They are your real people.
Note this, at the upper level, when break-ups happen, they don’t come to rant on social media. They don’t go about talking the cheap things and ‘blame-storming’ each other. They just simply say, ” we have both tried but just couldn’t make it work”.
Back to the point.
What you offer determines how you are priced. If you want a smart decent man, not the “yeye” sweet boys association members, you would need to check how you model yourself.
Do you sound confused?
Do you dress like the crowd?
Can you hold an intelligent discourse?
Do you have a sense of self identity?
Real men aren’t looking for food makers but vision builders.
Same thing applies to men!
Don’t go about spending every day in bars, clubs to pick a ‘poor’ beautiful girl and after 3 months (wait does it last that long sef?), and now say, “yen yen yen, she is just after my money and food! Food fire you there! Was she not eating where you picked her?
Strong women have fun but even if they aren’t really busy or are job seeking, they aren’t like satchet water.
They have standards. If you can’t match up, don’t fake it! Don’t stress it. If you can, good; in fact, great!
I am probably in the last-5 of my friends who aren’t yet married, but this I know, the woman I choose to marry would always be an extension of me!
So, I’d ask myself, “if God wills, in the next 30 years, will I still like this extension; as statuses change, do we both have the will and potential to match up?”
That dude or babe will always be an extension of you.
So, look beyond the physical and search for values, shared dreams, shared beliefs and the fighting spirit.
I hope and pray we would strive to get it right!
Enough of touching stories.
Let us remodel what relationships should be like for those coming after us.
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