Stylishly Choosing Paths For Children BY …Heaven Onyeabo

Stylishly Choosing Paths For Children BY …Heaven Onyeabo

Being an only child, and growing up having no much company, with the measure of restriction that was placed on my movements. I resorted to find friendship and company in novels.
I read any material I come across, no matter how voluminous it is.
Novels became my best friend and companion.

So while still in primary school, I started writing stories. I wrote a lot of stories then. I fill up 80 leaves exercise book with stories and I told myself I was going to publish them someday

I remember in primary 4, we were instructed by our English teacher to write a story that ended with ‘Had I know’
After we submitted, my teacher singled mine out and with tears in her eyes, she asked me: where did you copy this from, it sounds so real?
I replied back, saying I didn’t copy it from any source, its a story from my head
She didn’t believe me, but after being my teacher for a term, she realized all my stories are really from my head and she encouraged to continue in that line.

I remember how my Literature Instructor in JSS 1, looked at me one day in class after I answered a question which even he, himself bragged none of us will get because its higher than our level, and he said ‘Heaven you’ll teach my children English Language’
I was that good then

But guess what, my Parents didn’t see this, especially my lovely Father of blessed memory. I was encouraged to do Medicine and Surgery. I had to dump writing and started solving equations. I even lost all those my books where I wrote stories.

What’s the essence of this story?
Its to tell you how parents stylishly corner their children into fulfilling their dreams.

My Dad saw how much I love reading novels, and from primary 6, he introduced me to Chemistry, Physics and all other science texts.
I was encouraged to read those ones and stop reading novels.
He knew I wasn’t understanding a thing, but he told me that its normal, that after awhile I’ll get to understand them.
Which happened the way he said, after a while, I could understand and summarize chapter by chapter.
Though I didn’t stop reading novels, but I read them when he’s not around

He got me science and medical materials often to read, and that was how I, myself, and on my own started saying I want to study Medicine

Do you see how smart he played that game?
He never told me plainly “Heaven, study Med/Surg” but he smartly bought me into living his dream.

Informal parents will tell their wards ‘you must study this and that’. But formal and smart parents will stylishly buy you into it.
Having being that one is only but a child, who is gullible and who wants to please the parents, you won’t resist it, you’ll accept it.

And that was how I started singing Medicine chants and spent 4 years at home after secondary school looking for pure Medicine, just to please my dad cos I loved him so much.

Now why can’t I do good in Medicine?
Because I have phobia for blood.
My body starts shivering at the sight of blood.
Its like my heart melts into my stomach at the sight.
Some concerned friends asked me then, “Heaven how will you handle this your fear of blood and study Medicine?”
I didn’t know how but I told myself I’ll survive somehow

I see how parents do this today. You’ll see an innocent child that is just brought forth to the world, and you’ll see a father writing “Friends, help me welcome my Doctor”
Who told you that little boy or girl will want to be a Doctor when they grow?

Thank God I never went in, to do Medicine, and that was the cause of the delay in my getting into school, it would have been a disaster. He used the delay to open my eyes. I’ll see myself severally in dreams fainting at the operating table.
Even after my Dads demise, I just wanted to live his dream to honour him cos I respect and love him greatly.
But thank God I didn’t go into MedSurg

And guess what?
It was when I grew up that I got to know that my Dad had wanted to study Medicine as a young man, but due to some reasons, he didn’t. So to feel fulfilled, he said one of his child will be a Med Doctor.
As I am the only child, the ball fell on me.

And this is exactly what parents do today. Since they couldn’t live their dreams, they’ll hang it on one of their wards to fulfill for them. They do it mandatorily or they do it stylishly like my Dad.
If you as a parents wants a Doctor, pray to God to give you a child that will willingly follow that path, not coarsing or brainwashing a child.

So to parents and guardian, please be sensitive to those habits, hobbies and talents your children exhibit when they are/were small. It could be a pointer.
Also ask kids, what do they want to be and why they want to follow that path. It’ll shock you, some reasons you’ll hear will be traced to Daddy and Mummy.
You can guide them but don’t choose for them.

P.S: Feel free to share please, help children who are already in this. Its frustrating to plight a path you don’t want to, I tell you. I’ve been there
I hope someday I can share the full story

#Let_Every_Child_Choose_Their_Path
#Its_Their_Right
#Excerpts_From_My_Book
#Battles_Young_Ladies_Fight
Expect it soon