The Bedrock and Enablers of Patriarchy BY …Sonia Obi-Okodo

I say some women are the Bedrock and Enablers of Patriarchy. I honestly do not know whether it is Emotional Laziness,Physical Laziness or intellectual Laziness that causes it.
They are held bound by Religion and societal Norms ,They loose every value they should have.

I have had cases this year,centered around Child Sexual Abuse.
I have come to realise that Men actually Fight their children’s abusers more than women.
Let me give you 2 scenarios

Some time ago,I was added to a messenger group by a woman I respect so much on Facebook. A child was abused by their tenant and the mum ran to us for help.A group was formed to help the situation.
The Father of the girl seemed reluctant to involve the police and it was very suspicious for me especially.Albeit,there is nothing we could do without the consent of the Father to make a case.

My phone began to ring at about 3am. It was a call on messenger. I didn’t want to pick but the caller was persistent ,so I answered and I could hear serious screaming and anarchy going on in the background.
It so happened that the Father of the girl lured the tenant inside his house,over powered him,Tied him up and went to bring out an already sharpened Machete ,ready to castrate the Tenant. His wife’s plea of not taking the law into his hands was almost not working .

I requested that the phone be put on speaker and I began to say all the soothing words I know in this life to ease the pain,hurt,anger and betrayal he felt and Thankfully it worked. The tenant was handed over to the police and he currently resides in Ikoyi prison.

Another case happened sometime in March. A 4year old girl was abused by her Father. I was called in by a Pastor in my area and I started pursuing the case.
I was on my Way to my kid’s school for a brunch organised for mums when I got a call from the DPO to come immediately. I rushed to the station, only to be greeted by a woman saying ” release my husband” I no lock am again” Una wan kill my husband for me.

I sat down beside her and asked why she didn’t care about her daughter’s feelings and the trauma the girl is facing.
” I don talk my own finish. Na em pikin. If e say na she sweet pass me,that one consign am.No be em pikin”
I felt i could still make a case for the child ,since it is a crime of the state. It so appears that the mefical report given to her by the police for her daughter’s case,was torn. She shredded it .She tore the evidence of her husband’s wickedness and has put the life of her child in danger forever. WHY? THE MRS SYNDROME. The force that wants you to remain married even if your husband is the Devil himself.

Some women even beat these kids into silence.Keeping them locked up with their scars and nightmares,Blaming them for their own abuse as if the events in their life isn’t enough to last them a life time.

I am on one group on Facebook that gives the worst advise and this group is made up of women. Women advising other women to pray for Husbands who sleep with their underaged maids,children,relatives ETC. They tell them to send these children away with their trauma, leaving them damaged and with constant reminders of the ill that befell them.

Until we Beat stereotypes, Ignore societial norms and the stigma that we allow the society hang on us,We will keep burying our heads instead of standing Tall with the beautiful choices we make.

You are a witch and an enabler, If you tell a woman to Pray for a man who abused a child.
You are a witch and An Enabler if you think that the reason why a child was raped by a man old enough to be her father or young enough to be her brother is because of the wife’s inability to sexually satisfy her husband.
You are a witch and an enabler if you tell a woman that she should send the child away instead of soughting a solution on how to get that child both Therapeutic and Medical help.

If you are a woman and your husband rapes a child and you come on social media to ask what to do to save your marriage,YOU DESERVE TO BE STUNG BY A THOUSAND SCORPIONS.

If you are a woman and the “MRS ” title is more important than speaking on top of your voice and calling out crime,YOU DESERVE TO BE SWALLOWED BY A SNAKE.

I am an abuse surviour.
I stand against child abuse.
I speak for every child.