Entertainer and activist, Charles Oputa, popularly called Charly Boy,
made the news recently when he announced that he was going to divorce
his wife and marry her the next day. The Area Fada actually acted true
to his words as a marriage ceremony was held in honour of him and his
wife of 40 years, Lady Diane.
Speaking to Saturday Beats about
the secret of his marriage of 40 years, Charly Boy noted that his
ability to build a healthy friendship with his wife had kept his home
together.
“Marriage is a game of management and perseverance that
young people find difficult to conform to. Life comes with its own
problems; one can never know what is around the corner. Even though a
couple is compatible, there will still be some issues they don’t agree
on.
Friendship is what has kept my marriage peaceful.
“When
someone is your friend; it will be easy to open up to such a person. To
attain that kind of friendship, there has to be mutual respect between
the two people. Addressing issues with openness makes life easy, every
problem has a solution. I don’t think some young people are willing to
make all these sacrifices. They are always in hurry, they don’t think
about the future.
Oputa, who has been in three failed marriages,
said he married the women he was involved with in those marriages for
the wrong reasons.
“I won’t add the conditions of my past
marriages to my experience because my case is a little different. I have
always seen my father and mother together in love even though they
quarrelled and argued overtime. This made a big impression on me, I
admired them. I loved those kinds of things.
“I was not ready for
marriage when my first marriage took place. My mother forced me to get
married. I was busy impregnating people instead of reading my books, so
my mother made sure I got married to curb my excesses as a teenager.
“I
was 19, and my mother brought her to me. The second one was when I was
in my 20s, I wasn’t even ready as well, it was just to get myself
settled in the US, but I later realised that the US wasn’t a place I
could settle in. The marriage lasted for about three years, and I cut my
stay in the US short because I experienced racism. I was almost killed
because of the colour of my skin. Those things made me hate America; my
uncles never believed I would return to Nigeria. After the second
marriage failed, I married the third woman in America for the wrong
reason,” he told Saturday Beats.
The entertainer said that he
never knew he would be married to his current wife and he told Saturday
Beats the details of his love story.
“This is my fourth marriage;
I wasn’t even expecting to marry my wife. She came one day after we had
been dating for a while and told me that if I didn’t marry her, she
would leave me. I thought it was going to end like the others. We got
married shortly after that with only one witness present at the
registry.
“That was all that we did; there was no party at all
and we are still together after 40 years. My parents didn’t even want me
to marry someone who didn’t come from Nigeria. I was just against too
many battles. I decided that my marriage must work. We have learnt how
to manage ourselves through any kind of stormy weather. Marriage is not
easy; I can’t say I am living in paradise because I would be lying.
“The
essence of a true marriage is not about a flamboyant wedding. My father
taught me the art of a simple life, I am happier that way. I used a
tricycle to renew my vows because I am a simple person. Expensive things
don’t define me, money doesn’t move me, and I don’t show off. I was
implying that I wanted to renew my vows on December 15; some people
didn’t get the joke. I was not trying to say I would actually divorce my
wife and remarry someone else, I simply meant I wanted to renew my
vows,” he added.
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