Are you socially awkward, insecure, or introverted? Do you have trouble making friends? Here are some tips on how to develop friendships and relationships even if you aren’t extroverted.
Acknowledging shyness
There is no need to be ashamed of the typical issues of shyness, social uneasiness, and trouble making friends that affect people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds. The truth is that none of us are socially adept at birth. We gradually come to understand them, and the good news is that you can do the same.
No matter how uneasy you are with other people, you may learn to block off self-critical thoughts, build your self-esteem, and become more assured in social situations. You don’t have to alter your personality, but you can get over shyness or social awkwardness, feel more connected, and have enduring connections by learning new skills and changing your viewpoint.
Addressing fear and social insecurity
The ideas we tell ourselves about shyness and social discomfort have a big impact. Here are some typical thought processes that might erode your self-assurance and exacerbate social insecurity:
conceiving of yourself as uninteresting, dislikeable, or peculiar.
the conviction that, when in social circumstances, other people are assessing and judging you.
believing that if you make a social error, you will be rejected and condemned.
believing that it would be terrible and painful to be rejected or socially shamed.
the conviction that one’s identity is defined by what others think of them.
It makes sense that social interactions would appear terrifying if you believed these things. However, the truth is rarely so clear-cut.
At least not to the extent that you believe, people aren’t thinking about you. Most people are preoccupied with their own problems and lifestyles. Other individuals are thinking about themselves, just as you are thinking about yourself and your own societal problems.
Many other people share your unpleasant and uneasy feelings. When you experience social anxiety, it could seem as though everyone else is a confident extrovert. That’s not the case, though. There are many introverted people who struggle with the same self-doubts as you do, but some are better at hiding it than others. It’s as probable that the person you speak with next will worry about your opinion of them.
Accepting yourself and growing
It takes time to change your mindset in order to learn to accept oneself.
You’ll quickly feel less anxious in social situations once you begin to understand that people are not watching and judging every word and action you make. But the way you feel about yourself is still a factor. We are all too often our own harshest critics. We are harsh on ourselves in a way that we would never be with strangers, much less those who are important to us.
To be liked, you don’t have to be flawless. In actuality, people find our flaws and peculiarities endearing. Even our flaws might make us more approachable to others. It’s a connecting experience when someone is open and honest about their weaknesses, especially if they can make fun of themselves. You’ll probably discover that others will accept you for who you are, awkwardness and all, if you can accept them gladly. They might even like you more as a result!
It’s acceptable to make errors. Everyone errs; it’s a characteristic of being human. So be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Being flawless doesn’t give you value. Try to view your own faults as you would those of a friend if you find it difficult to be compassionate with yourself. What advice would you give a friend? Now heed your own counsel.
Developing social skills gradually
Social skills need to be practiced. Expecting to become socially comfortable without putting in the effort is unrealistic.
Take action to become more self-assured and sociable, then build on your achievements.
As you walk along the street, give people a smile.
Give a compliment to someone you meet throughout the day.
Talk to a pleasant cashier, receptionist, waiter, or salesperson and strike up a discussion.
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