I had slept with Ope multiple times against her wish. She was pregnant for me twice and we secretly
aborted those pregnancy. This is the reason my wife has not been able to conceive all these years. When
I became tired of my life I spoke to Tunde about my problem. Even though I didn’t tell him details but I
told him I was tired of life and I was contemplating suicide when he took me to Baba Lode, a herbalist at
the outskirt of the village. He was more of a fortune teller.
He told me many things about my future but his medicine could not help me. He told me I was destined to have two children all my life but I have killed them and will die childless. I stopped patronizing him when my situation grew worse than better. People thought I am a quiet person but that is not true. I became reserved because of the unseen torment and torture I go through daily. After some months, two feminine spirits have been after my life. They torture and fight me almost everyday in my sleep. Sometimes they appear to me physically but I would not be able to shout or move my body. I will just remain quiet until they finish afflicting me.
The pain starts as soon as they are done. My life had been mesmerized with fear, guilt and sorrow of death.
At a time I wanted death desperately but death denied me my request. I see a lot of good people die every time
and I would wish I was the one. Why did death keep snatching good people and leaving bad people like me? This question I had asked any time I hear someone just died. I tried to look for Monica if she could reverse the curse she placed on me but my efforts were fruitless. Even if Monica reverse the curse on me, who will reverse the one I incurred while raping grandma? I became discouraged and left everything to chance and fate. Nothing more is worse than death. I will wait let death come and take me away.
have raped many other women successfully except pastor Ele’s wife. No one knows why I ran from
Lagos to Lokoja. I got a lucrative job after my NYSC in Lagos but I left the job because I was to go to jail.
Whenever I raped any woman, fear of stigmatisation would shield me from being reported. But the case
was different when I did it to pastor Ele’s wife. I thought I had gone away with it until I saw two police
men in my house. You are under arrest for the rape of one Mrs. Esther Ele. You are free to remain silent
or anything you say shall be used against you in the court of law. I was whisked away but I was granted
bail the second day. This was what led to my escape from Lagos to Lokoja.
Give me some water, I need water, Kassim requested. A sachet of pure water was brought for him. I
wanted to be a Christian but my faulty foundation clouded my path to salvation. I think it is only me that
understand that “by strength shall no man prevail”. Prayer and fasting failed me. Faith and service in
God’s vineyard was never an answer. Alms giving didn’t overrule my secret sins. I hid it from men but I
couldn’t hide it from God. I consider God as been too patient for not killing me all this while. Please help
me beg my father to forgive me. Tell mum I am sorry. Beg Ope to find a place in her heart to forgive me.
I want to die so my wife can be free to move on with her life. I don’t want the web of my past to
stagnate her. She doesn’t have to suffer for my sins. Baba help me pray that Jesus should come and take me now.