Toyin took us to her pastor at Felele, an outskirt of the town. Good morning sir, this is Nneka and her
husband, the one I spoke to you about. We greeted the pastor at the same time. He was an elderly man
in his 60s but he was still full of life. He greeted us and asked us to narrate our challenges. I took the
stage because my husband is an extrovert and he hardly give details. While I was talking the pastor kept
shaking his head in pity
After all my stories, he said the next thing was confession of our sins. I knew we were going to have
problem with that because I doubt if my husband would want the old man to hear what we did with
Prophet Ade. I raised my head and starred at my husband and he turned his face away, then I got the
signal. The old man was patiently waiting for us to confess our sins. I was the one who broke the silence,
sir we are all liars, we keep malice sometimes, we skip our tithe most times and other sins we do daily
unconsciously. The man sighed loudly and began to speak in tongues.
I was not wayward but I knew I have committed an abortion before and I have never told my husband
about it. Not even Toyin knew anything about the abortion. It was a secret I had kept for a long time.
Could that be the source of our childlessness baba wants us to confess? But how can God block my
womb for just one abortion yet I have seen many who lived a dirty lives with several abortions who have
good marriage and wonderful children today. This can’t be the reason, I waved the thoughts away. Baba
insisted he won’t pray for us if we don’t confess the main sin that had rendered us childless. I excused
my husband, is there anything you know that we need to confess? Nothing more than what I have told
you before, he replied.
We went back to baba, sir we have thought and flashed back but can’t remember anything we did that
we have not confessed. He didn’t argue with us but refused to pray for us, not even a word of prayer. As we drove back home my husband did not utter a word as he drove. I turned from the front seat and
looked at Toyin, I thought you said your pastor is powerful and he could help us? Yes, she replied. He
had helped many other people and the testimonies are everywhere.
Deaconess Adeola waited for fifteen years before she met with papa and today she has been blessed
with two boys. Dr Ogun and his wife had no child when they joined our church five years ago but today
they have a son. I believe your case won’t be different. The same God who did for Deaconess Adeola and
Dr Ogun will do it for you. She encouraged us.
When we got home that night we barely talked to each other over the issue. I didn’t want Kassim to ask
me if I have something I haven’t confessed. I have told him everything about my paste except for the
abortion. I really don’t want him to know about the abortion because his reaction maybe devastating.
Kassim is a very jealous man who cannot withstand knowing his wife was ever impregnated by someone
he knew. I have confessed to God and he has forgiven me, I can’t open the old wound again. God is
merciful and he will not let my sins of many years to be remembered.
Kassim’s silence and indifference over what Toyin’s pastor told us worried me a lot but “he that comes
to equity must come with clean hands”. I can’t accuse him when I myself is guilty. For one week, none
of us said anything about it. Should I go back to baba behind my husband to confess my abortion? What
if he insisted I must do the confession before my husband? I can’t stay another year without having my
own baby. I need to carry my own child soon. I will summon courage today and talk to Kassim over what
baba said. Maybe he has something he’s hiding, he too must confess it.