THE MYTH ABOUT BEING SINGLE @ “30” By:- Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi (Must Read)
As I woke up this morning, I asked the Holy Spirit what He would have me share with my friends. #smiling
Here is what was laid in my heart.
I remembered all the ladies I have counseled, ladies who are bitten by the bug of fear of turning “30” and those in mid-30s
I hear lines like “Aunt Esther, I will be 30 and I am still single, will I ever get someone to marry me?”
Of course, I understand such fear because I have been there.
There are five myths about turning 30 I will like to share on and hopefully dissolve in your heart.
Myth #1. If you are not married at age 30 you are doomed. You have reached the age where no man will pick interest in marrying you. You are made to believe something is actually wrong with you.
Myth #2. Men would stop looking at your side because you will be less attractive than you were in your 20s
Myth #3. Virgin Ladies who gets married in their 30s will experience a very terrible and excruciating pain on their wedding night (they often place unreasonable stress on the description of the pain). Read books & go for Sex seminars before marriage
Myth #4. The hymen gets thicker by the years and can make it more difficult for the deflowering process. #laughs #wrongscience
Myth #5 A lady’s fertility dwindles in her 30s. I have seen many women who married in their 20s and still waited for years before conception. It’s not really about the age but individuals.
To start with, When I was a teenager, I really can’t explain how it filtered into my subconscious mind that “If a lady is unmarried at age 30 it would require a washing of her head at the river before she could get a husband”
I heard many people say that again and again.
So I feared clocking 30 still single more than I looked forward to being 30. Do you understand what I mean?
I drew my life plan and set my clock to get married at 25. Unfortunately for me I didn’t get admission to the University till I clocked 22, even the admission was “2 years Diploma”
Thanks to Nigeria Education system, with the recurrent ASU Strikes, I was 25 at the time I started my Degree program which placed me in 200L and 3 years left to graduate…
This is where frustration set in. I was sad when I clocked 25, Marriage was not in view at all though I was in a relationship which later ended at our graduation.
The honest truth is that I was not even “MADE” for Marriage at that age.
Though I pushed the myth out of my heart at some point as I grew up but it had left me with frustration I had to deal with in the following years of my single life.
On my 29th birthday, I was still hopeful, I baked a cake for myself and celebrated with my neighbors.
A neighbor said jokingly “This time next year, we shall come to eat your birthday cake in your husband’s house”
Can you imagine? My mom was angry with that prayer. #Laughs
Eventually the much dreaded “age 30” met me single and the only good thing I saw in my life was my ministry and my job but no man in my life.
On my 30th birthday, I locked myself in, I refused to hang out with my friends to celebrate, I wept, I set aside the day that ought to be my happiest day, for a saddest day. Why? Because I was single at 30.
My eye balls were swollen. #ImLaughingnow
Some days later, the Holy Spirit lectured me and it changed my mind totally about my singlehood and waiting. He gave me a Scripture
” Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Do you understand my love for the Singles Now? #Smile
With my new understanding, I started wishing I had a party at my 30th Birthday, I wished I gave myself a nice treat, I wished I had a cake, nice wine and some selfies. I wished I enjoyed the joy it brought. I wished I could redo my 30th birthday.
Anyways I am fast approaching my 40th Birthday and nothing will stop me from celebrating it in a grand way.
Well it is generally believed that age 30 is a magical age where you are supposed to have carved a niche for yourself in your career, settled down in marriage and have Kids.
There’s nothing wrong in achieving all of these if possible at that age but what this kind of reasoning does to you is frustration and depression if things doesn’t work out for you that way.
I hope someone will learn from my past.
Marriage is not an end in itself. Don’t be too focused on getting married, the future soon to happen and you missed the joy of the ride along the way.
I tell you there is no any existing expiration age for Marriage.
In fact, Not everybody would get married at 25.
It is not about your age.
There’s an appointed time!
My last born, little sister”s time came and she got married even before me.
Dispel negative philosophy and fear out of your mind with God’s Word.
Know what God is saying about your life at this time of waiting!
The Holy Spirit told me that I would meet my husband IN THE PLACE OF MY ASSIGNMENT.(while fulfilling my vision)
I have counseled many ladies who settled down with just any available guy because of their age.
Singlehood doesn’t make you less of a woman!
You are not a failure!
You are not doomed!
It is not over!
You are not damaged goods!
Get rid of those myths!
Of course, when you reach your maturity age, it levels down the type of guys that will approach you.
You have passed the age where one guy who saggs his trousers will come running after you with his Whizzling.
There are matured guys for matured babes. You will attract only serious minded men, your level will scare away men who are not ready for commitment.
How attractive you are is your choice and not your age 30 or above!
Don’t dress down!
Look great and moderate!
Don’t allow depression pitch a tent of wrinkles on your face!
I got married in my 30s and I tell you there’s no extra pain. Get wisdom and in all your getting, get understanding.
Girlfriends, can you please go out there and fulfill your VISION!
Let life continue!
My last Word for you “You can’t press the pause button on your life and be expecting God to bring a man that has a remote control to press play, PRESS PLAY AND ENJOY LIFE”
The waiting will soon be over but please enjoy it while it lasts
Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi
omoniyiesther1@gmail.com
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